My Frontal Lobe Developed: I’m Team Jacob Now!

With a strong jaw and an insanely luscious quiff, he’s totally dreamy. He’s totally obsessed with her. He’s… totally a walking red flag?

Last weekend, I woke up to a gray, deliciously drizzly skyline outside my apartment window. I knew there was only one right way to spend a day like this—cue the Eyes on Fire intro.

I headed into the living room, reheated a slice of last night’s pizza, and settled into my couch. Flicking on the tv I queue up the movie I know by heart—seriously, I watched it so much as a kid I memorized it in both English and Spanish (I don’t even speak Spanish).

Instantly, I fell back into the familiar comforts of the first Twilight installment: The phenomenal soundtrack, the nostalgic outfits, the moody blue tint that coats every scene. I watched as Bella started her first day at Forks High School, stumbling through painfully awkward interactions with her classmates. I waited with baited breath as the Cullens entered the scene, one by one, until finally— the man of the hour— Edward Cullen appeared. I giggle to myself as she takes her seat next to him in Biology. Look at him! He’s mysterious and broody, and probably smells like—

Wait a second. 

Is he… being a total asshole?

I watched on in horror. Am I having an out-of-body experience? Somebody help me! The gaslighting? The manipulation? Stalking? Breaking and entering? Hellooo?? This is so not the sexy immortal dream boyfriend I drooled over in middle school. And yet— I’m watching the exact same film.

Edward being an asshole in Biology class. Image sourced from Pinterest

When I was twelve, my vampire boyfriend fantasies were fueled by escapism, infatuation, and the sheer grandeur of the fantasy. I romanticized how Bella’s relationship saved her from her mundane reality—and, unfortunately, how that relationship became her entire world. (And while my tween obsession with Edward Cullen cannot be entirely blamed for my eventual less-than-stellar taste in men, I think we can all agree… the thread is there.)

But I’ve gotten older, men have come and gone, and I’ve found myself living quite joyously in my own mundane reality. It almost hurts to watch all the unknown possibilities Bella sacrifices for the sake of her love. But can we really place the onus on an impressionable seventeen-year-old girl in the throes of her first high school relationship? Shouldn’t the man who’s been alive for over a century have known better?

Bella had friends, family, and an entire future ahead of her—and Edward knew exactly what she’d be giving up. He was the only one who truly understood the weight of her choice, and yet he let her make it anyway. He plays the tortured savior for the first two installments, acting as though he’s protecting her from herself, but in hindsight, his reluctance to turn her into a vampire feels less like a noble respect of mortality and more like the projection of his own self-loathing.

Enter Jacob Black: endearing, charming, and—thankfully—age-appropriate. With his cheeky smile and puppy-dog eyes (see what I did there?), he brings laughter and warmth into Bella’s life after her breakup with Edward (you know, when he dumped her in the woods). They watch movies, take on projects, and she even gets to know his friends and hangs out with his family—all the hallmarks of a healthy, normal relationship. Not to mention, he utterly adores her and is genuinely respectful of the fact that she’s still healing from her past. 

Image sourced from Pinterest

Jacob knows he can offer Bella something Edward never could: a life, a real future. And for a moment, it feels like she’s so close to saying yes. We can’t help but wonder—if Edward hadn’t pulled his absolutely unhinged suicide mission in Italy (seriously? one of the most infuriating moments of the series), what might have become of Bella and Jacob’s relationship? What kind of future could they have built together?

The greatest loss in Bella’s life wasn’t her family or her friends—it was her freedom of choice. Her ability to change her mind, to grow up, to grow old.

If I had it my way, I’d be Team Get Bella Out of Her Hick Town. But if I have to choose— for the first time ever, I’m Team Jacob.